My Best Accessory

I became increasingly aware of the fact that my body was ageing when I was 16. While I was still plagued with adolescent woes like acne, awkwardness, and braces, I began noticing grey hairs. Whether from the stress of high school, or genetics, this development marked the end of my perceived youth — and I couldn’t even legally drink yet.

At an age when I was constantly frustrated with everything that I was too young to do, I suddenly became too old. It was as if I had woken up one morning and my entire life had gone by; the juxtaposition of youth and age was displayed on my body in an existential collage.

Now — on top of finishing my AP Bio homework — I had become concerned with whether I would need to start dying my grey hairs so as not to stand out against their brunette counterparts. For so many years before, I was taught by relatives, television, and the hair care aisle of Shoppers Drug Mart to fear going grey. As soon as they have hair on their heads, young girls are taught how they should and shouldn’t look.

Beyond greasy hair, box dye mishaps, and uneven fringe bangs, the message against greying is twofold: if you’re a woman, you’ll never get it ‘just right,’ and if you’re a woman showing signs of age, don’t even think about it. The idea that a woman is made less beautiful by the years she has lived is just another way to make women feel inadequate. While the fear of ageing spans gender lines, only women are shamed for living past 25. It’s like as soon as a woman’s frontal lobe develops, she becomes less desirable — and not only in the eyes of Leonardo DiCaprio. The uneven pressures placed on women to stay youthful is no better represented by the undue stigmatisation of going grey. There’s no female equivalent of “silver fox.” Acknowledging the pressures placed on women to stay youthful and still choosing not to dye my hair is my way of rejecting the societal pressures put on women.

It’s been over six years since I noticed that first silver strand. I’ve learned to not only accept them, but embrace them. I hold a firm conviction that I will never dye my hair for the sake of it not being grey, even if it means I have a head of silver hair at age 30. 

Now, I view my grey hairs as my best accessory. One time, someone even thought I had silver tinsel in my hair! Beyond the fact that they match my jewellery, my greys show the sleepless nights that have led to meaningful projects and events. They connect me to a long line of strong, grey-haired women. They show the years that I’ve lived, a silver and brown mosaic of my entire life. They hold information that a mere article of clothing cannot. 

Besides, whether or not I have grey hairs won’t make me turn 80 any later. 

Header: Jena Williams