YOUR SEPTEMBER HOROSCOPE IS HERE

BY ANONYMOUS                                                                                                                 

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Image courtesy of Broadly. Illustration by Robin Eisenberg

Capricorn

Thinking about dropping that class? Do it. Trust your gut, and don’t forget… you still have that pass/fail to use!!

 

Aries

Thursday is the day things turn around for you! Stage rage.

 

Taurus

Time to hit the gym! Frosh week may have you feeling a little sluggish, and some exercise will have you feeling like yourself again.

 

Pisces

Your school friends have missed you! Reach out to your classmates and don’t be lazy in hanging out with them too. Trust me, they will be your safety net for that requirement class you’ve managed to avoid taking until now.

 

Cancer

Sometimes you need to check in with yourself and reassess the situation. You can’t always be everybody’s “person”. Take time this week to do something just for you (eat cake, jetski, play charades with yourself)

 

Leo

Your plate is especially full this year. Be sure to always take the elevator, as to not tire yourself out too much!!

 

Aquarius

Your cogro bagel will be poisoned today – DO NOT GO GET ONE.

 

Gemini

The really cute person you met during frosh week IS NOT THE ONE FOR YOU. Go on a real date with them to see what I mean…

 

Libra

You’re famous for being cautious, and it is time for that to change. Be bold, and join the hip-hop class in the arc.

 

Hazelnut

You stand from the crowd, and are unreal. I cannot give you any advice since you’ve already surpassed the rest of us.

 

Sagittarius

It’s time to bury the hatchet. Stop being petty, and get over it.

 

Virgo

If you have any classes in biosci from Monday-Wednesday AVOID THEM. Danger ahead.

 

Scorpio

Sometimes you just need to eat out. Don’t worry about the money right now, you will be affluent very soon…