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Will You Accept This Rose?

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After a long hiatus, Bachelor season has finally begun! And with the first few episodes underway, there has certainly been no shortage of mental breakdowns, TMI moments, and references to Juan Pablo’s “sexy abs”. The Bachelor never fails to entertain us or pull on our heartstrings, and we are thankful for that. But despite the captivating emotional rollercoaster that is The Bachelor, there are always those cringe-worthy moments where I am left staring at the screen in disbelief, asking myself “did he/she really just do that?” Keeping this in mind, here are five examples for you NOT to follow when seeking true love on The Bachelor or Bachelorette:

1) Imposing your job on the bachelor/bachelorette – There have been a couple examples of this faux pas so far in Juan Pablo’s season. First, we had Amy J, the alarmingly aggressive massage therapist who confidently stated: “I want a man who wants to be rubbed by me”… *CRINGE*. Amy J. was eliminated after the first episode, but after forcing Juan Pablo to receive a through-the-shirt oil massage, she definitely left her mark on the show (and not to mention, on Juan’s expensive suit).

Secondly, we had Amy L, the super keen news reporter who decided it would be a good idea to “mock interview” Juan Pablo during their first 1 on 1 conversation ever. As anticipated, Amy L. was eliminated mere minutes later during the rose ceremony.

2) Having a drunken stupor/mental breakdown – Last week we witnessed the ridiculously intoxicated Victoria go on a berserk rampage complete with wailing, swearing, and locking herself in the bathroom. In her delirious state, she actually attempted to escape from the building where the group date was taking place wearing nothing but a bikini. Not even the charming Juan Pablo could console her, so he decided it was time for her to leave the show (and rightfully so)! Hot messes are definitely not wife/mom material.

3) Referring to the bachelorette’s child as “baggage” – Lessons were learned from Emily’s season of The Bachelorette: do not mess with Emily or her daughter Rickie! Kalon failed to take this into account when he stated that Emily had a lot of “baggage” – a not-so-subtle reference to Rickie. Well, aside from the fact that classifying a human child as baggage is a huge no-no, what woman in her right mind would ever want to have children with Kalon after a remark like that? The only baggage in Kalon’s realm was his suitcase on his one-way trip back to Houston.

4) Going on The Bachelorette in order to become the next Bachelor – Among the numerous drama kings of Desiree’s tumultuous season, how could we forget the cunning James? James completely shattered poor Desiree’s fragile heart after he allegedly claimed that if he didn’t win The Bachelorette, he had a good shot at becoming the next Bachelor. Tsk, tsk. James, you clearly weren’t there for the “right reasons.” Nuff said.

5) Having a sparkle – Ah, the infamous Tierra of Sean’s season. For those of you who are unaware, Tierra’s parents told her she was born with a sparkle, and instructed her not to let anyone take that sparkle away from her. Aw, how inspiring! Tierra was also accused of snobbishly raising her eyebrow at the other girls, but come on people, that’s just the way her face is! Give the girl a break! Evidently, being on The Bachelor surrounded by the most malicious of women was far too emotionally distressful for Tierra, and Sean advised her it was time to go home. *Sigh* looks like those girls took away Tierra’s sparkle after all. Shame.

Although the contestants mentioned above may have failed to find true love on The Bachelor/Bachelorette, their outrageous behaviour will remain forever ingrained in our memories. In conclusion, anyone who wishes to be successful on The Bachelor or Bachelorette would do well to avoid emulating any of the actions described above….

…But we all know that will never happen, so tune into tonight’s episode of The Bachelor to see what new shenanigans will arise!

 

Yours Creatively,

Bethany Opler, Online Contributor 

 

Image: The Star