Why a BFF Breakup is Worse than the Real Thing

BY SERENE NEKOUI                                                                                                                               ONLINE CONTRIBUTOR

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A best friend is that person you scream with when your favourite song finally plays on the radio, or when that cute guy from your Monday morning tutorial asks you out for coffee. Somehow, they’re more dependable than a significant other. When you have that romantic person, somewhere inside you there’s a feeling it won’t last, but with a best friend, losing that person is like losing a part of yourself. Your best friend is the one you go to when your mom just won’t hear you out, or the one person you can count on when you just need to vent. Your best friend has your back. And when that relationship ends, it tears you apart.

Like any relationship, fights are inevitable. The small quirks you once loved start to push your buttons. The little things you were once excited to talk about are now carefully considered, because your nights of catching up and keeping up with each other’s accomplishments become tally chart of who’s becoming more successful. But a best friend is like a sibling; you get over the little things – until you are pushed too far.

This is a Best Friend Breakup.

A best friend breakup is the worst type of breakup. It’s not the same as that huge fight you had with your mom, because you know that will blow over when you wake up in the morning. It’s nothing like that fight with your significant other, because in the end, you have your best friend to keep you in check and to get you through the best of times and the worst of times. And that’s the problem. The problem with a best friend is that they become your source of comfort, confidence, ease, and fun. When you lose that person, it’s like losing a piece of yourself. Suddenly, losing your best friend causes an identity crisis. Who do you go to for good news? When you finally get that job you were stressing about, when you get an A on that paper you left to the last minute, when you’re just in need for a good night in, watching Netflix and scrolling through Instagram together eating the most processed foods you could possibly find in your kitchen cabinet.

The fact is, being hurt by your best friend is just painful as being hurt by your significant other. Maybe it’s due to the fact that these relationships aren’t so different. Like any relationship, time and effort are made to foster growth and trust. Boundaries are set, and a bond is formed, just like the start of any romantic relationship. The difference is, when that romantic relationship ends, closure is usually involved. Whether that relationship ends in a nasty fight or a mutual understanding, an agreement of ending that specific aspect of that relationship or to limit contact is often reached. In a platonic relationship, breaking up isn’t so simple. How are we supposed to end a friendship? Do we breakup with a friend the same way we breakup with a significant other? It’s not as easy as sitting your friend down after an ice cream date and starting the “it’s not you, it’s me” narrative.

One similarity that can be found is the process of mourning. The end of a relationship is like ending a chapter in your life. Things obviously won’t be the same, but it doesn’t mean the world stops spinning. Ending a friendship will take some time to adjust, but don’t let that disappointment be a set back when meeting amazing people in your future. A best friend breakup is something we all go through. Friends come and go, but the ones that stick by your side through thick and thin will get you to where you need to be. I’m confident that everyone who enters my life and leaves an impression was meant to be there. They can only benefit me with emotional maturity and help me to understand and recognize the people I want to keep in my life. So I thank my past friends, and my current friends, for giving me nothing but great memories that I will cherish, and the wisdom to recognize that.

 

Yours creatively,

Serene