BY KATE FARRELL ONLINE CONTRIBUTOR
Some people have their person. Some people have their soulmates. For others, it’s their people. You know the ones. The people you can go to at 3am and talk about anything with, the ones that make you have an ab workout laugh attack; basically, the people that live up to all the cliches about what being a best friend means.
And through my 20 years, I’ve found that my people haven’t come in a defined set of humans. It hasn’t been that one group of people that I have been with since I was jamming in the gymboree with. My people, my group of humans that I feel the most comfortable with and who I can call my best friends, have come from everywhere.
Sometimes it leaves me isolated. I feel like I am missing out on something. Instead of going for huge girl gang brunches or mass group texts, I’ve found my people come in at different times in my life. Of course I have big groups of friends, I mean I’m super likeable come on (please know I’m kidding and my ego is not that big, okay). But I always felt like it wasn’t the kind of “us against the world” group of friends that you see in epic movies. I felt like the addition to a lot of my “persons” bigger friend groups, they were already their own tight group and I just showed up. I felt like I was on the outside.
Then I thought of the people that I actually had in my life, the ones that are varied in age and distance. I realized that you’re people don’t always have to be together 24/7 or even know each other. My people were all different and most didn’t even know each other, but in everyone of them I can find something that we can instantly connect with that makes us friends. Just because I have a bunch of “persons” instead of one defined group of “people” doesn’t mean I am missing out.
There is no golden rule that says you can only hang out with one set of people. YouR people, like mine, aren’t one group that all know each other but a huge network of people that all have amazing qualities in them that make us get along so well. I have a best friend who is going to law school in Chicago I can always call for a cry or a karaoke night. I have my people from my recovery, the ones that I know will always understand the absurd and illogical thoughts that mental illness serves up in my brain. I have my beautiful people from university, all my housemates (the ones that I already know will be my people for years. ), co-workers, and even TAs and profs.
In every single person that I meet, there is a little bit of them that makes them my person. It’s the innate connection we all share that makes us human. We all have a connection with everyone. Thinking about that reminds me to be thankful when I feel like I don’t have, “my people” – because even though they are spread out, I already have all the people I could need to make me happy.