Have you ever been told you have no soul? Have you ever gotten sunburned despite smothering your entire body with SPF60? Do the irritating nicknames “carrot top,” “ginger kid,” or “ranga” ring a bell? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you probably belong to a group that makes up a mere 2% of the world’s population: redheads. I too am a member of this minority. I’m sure you have all heard of struggles such as the classic #firstworldproblems and #whitegirlproblems, but today I want to discuss the all too real #gingerproblems.
I will begin with a story that happened in my 10th grade English class. The material we were learning in class somehow prompted a story about my English teacher’s ex-boyfriend. After she told us the story, a student asked: “why did you break up with him?” The teacher’s response was: “because he had red hair.” OUCH! Like, come on, I’m sitting right here! Everyone in the class, including my teacher, turned and looked at me as they erupted with laughter. Awkward…
Needless to say, this was a pretty embarrassing yet now hilarious incident. But even today, I’m still left wondering what exactly is so funny about redheads? Why do gingers get ridiculed purely for the colour of their hair? Oh right. We have an enlightening TV show to thank for this –South Park. Thanks a lot. #gingerproblems
Here is another scenario that has happened to me too many times to count. A random person, whom I have never met, approaches me and yells “Hey (insert name)!” and proceeds to carry out a full on conversation with me, failing to realize that I am not the person they are looking for. I then politely interrupt the person to inform them that they have the wrong person, or more specifically, the wrong redhead. Clearly, the root of this misunderstanding is that some people have troubles distinguishing redheads from one another (especially when under the influence of alcohol). So let me just clear the air: we don’t all look the same just because we have the same hair colour. #gingerproblems
Having said this, there is one case when said “failure to distinguish red heads from one another” works to our advantage. This is the case of the fake I.D. If you are an underage redhead, hand the bouncer a picture of another redhead, and you are pretty much guaranteed entry. Worked like a charm for me. #gingersolutions
There are countless other #gingerproblems we face as a result of our unique hair colour, but as a wise woman once said: “Ain’t nobody got time for that.”
So, my fellow redheads, I’ll leave you with the poignant words of Miley Cyrus: “Forget the haters, cause somebody loves ya,” and stay true to your fiery selves.
Bethany Opler, Online Contributor
Image: We Heart It