11 Feb Friends with Benefits?
Let’s be honest with ourselves: we can admit that the idea of friends with benefits has crossed our minds at one point or another, but I’m here to lay down some ground rules.
Now I will say right now: I do NOT have it all figured out. But! I do consider myself a possible master of remaining uncommitted (in relatively every circumstance possible).
I thought this until “it” happened- that weird spiral of events where 5 tequila shots and a suppressed attraction later turned being friends, a little too friendly. We all know how this story ends, but what I didn’t know is how the next 5 words that came out of my mouth would forever change my relationship with my best friend.
“Lets not tell anyone about this”.
This brings me to my first point. Secrecy. Friends with benefits does not mean “secret relationship”. While it can be fun to sneak around with your friend, neighbour, that cute guy from Stauff’s basement, the entire concept of friends with benefits relies on communication. Take that out and you’re a goner from the beginning.
Now that we’ve cleared that up, I have two thoughts about the idea of remaining platonic, sexual, friends with benefits. These two rules are essential in order to actually remain friendly and consequently platonic. First off, things must remain more physical than emotional – this doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate each others’ company, compliment each other and, the point of it all, have great sex, but this does mean you can’t start telling each other everything and emotionally unloading, because neither of you signed up for that in the beginning.
Secondly, and most importantly, you cannot be best friends…by any means. That’s called dating. Not accepting this simple fact is bound to lead to some complicated, messy feelings that in the end probably will end unfavourably.
So what does these rules mean? They mean that it is possible to be friendly with benefits, but you cannot convince yourself that you can truly be best friends, with benefits. Be honest with your partner and most importantly to yourself. After all, that’s what friends with benefits are supposed to be – fun